Cheetos Dust Artworks on a Yacht Could Mark the End Times in Miami Basel

Lefty Out There: A shape with a lion (cheetah) body and a man’s head, a look empty and ruthless as the sun. (All images courtesy of Rock the Bells)

Things fall apart; the center cannot hold;

Mere anarchy is unleashed on the world,

The blood-dipped tide is loosened, and everywhere

The ceremony of innocence has drowned;

The best lack all conviction, while the worst

Are full of passionate intensity.

~ William Butler Yeats, “The Second Coming”

When William Butler Yeats wrote these words, he certainly had Art Basel Miami Beach in mind. In this recurring race to the bottom, where rich people go to prove how many things they would rather throw money at than to equality, justice, the environment or basic humanity, there is already a clear winner. The top prize in this anarchy of excess, shrouded in a thin layer of culture, must surely go to a December 4 event called by Rock the Bells and Cheetos and taking place on the Seafair Mega Yacht.

Enter Yacht the Basel, starring Lefty Out There: “The Art of the Cheetle” – if these words aren’t some infernal incantation calling out which horseman of the apocalypse is currently waiting in the wings, what else are they? They also mean that one of those du jour street performers turned muralists eager to cover everything in a repeating motif has now raised the bar by displaying his signature squiggles in Cheeto fabric. Since sticking a damn banana to a wall wasn’t enough, no, the art world had to do something even dumber with food. At sea!

What can be said about this situation? The facts are these: The Seafair is a 220-foot, four-story mega yacht docked in Bayfront Park in downtown Miami. There are six bars, Cheetos-inspired activations, the Art of the Cheetle gallery, onboard activities and “a lot more,” according to a press release. But just as true, the blood-dipped tide is unleashed and everywhere the ceremony of innocence drowns.

Call me a desert bird, for I am indignant.

Far be it from me to tell anyone what to do with their time in life, or their ill-gotten and excessive wealth. I am no saint and prone to my own frivolities – and anything I say would fall on deaf ears from those who are full of passionate intensity. I congratulate Lefty Out There on a successful spectacle and hope the work sells because probably everything he owns is now covered in a fine orange powder and needs to be replaced. I assume the preservatives in Cheetos have a better shelf life than a banana stuck to a wall. I wish everyone in attendance a great Art Basel Miami, and look forward to hearing what rough beast, his hour is finally round, shuffle off to Bethlehem to be born.

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