Georgian Police, the police game that makes Police Quest work normally

From 2010 to 2014 Richard Cobbett wrote Crapshoot, a column about throwing the dice to bring random obscure games back to light. Is it possible this week to follow the letter of the law when one does not even recognize the letters? Fortunately, it turns out that everyone is talking ‘gun’.

Unfortunately, this is not the Georgian I was hoping for. I really wanted this to be a Police Quest going on in Regency, full of shouts of “Hold up and hold up, you border, so you don’t become a cad too!” But no. We’re talking about the country of Georgia, whose Interior Ministry – if history is correct – thought it would be a good idea to have a game that promotes the fine work of the police in a “virtual hunt for criminal and Russian spies.” It’s free. And there are two parts – of which I do not understand a word.

I’m almost sure this will not turn out to be a problem.

Remember – no Russians.

Probably the best starting point here is to compare Georgian Police (technically, yes, its full name is just “Police”) with the American-made Police Quest. One is a ridiculous, surreal journey into a world of strange protocols, where everyone speaks in their own intricate language. The other is Georgian police. We’ve looked at the original Police Quest before, and … wow. Get a cuckoo clock. On the plus side, the Georgian police designer is never trying to make you admire his balls.

And my balls are fine too, thanks for asking.

And my balls are fine too, thanks for asking.

The Georgian police are a little more restrained … for about a minute or so before it turns into the most amusingly misplaced unreal shooting gallery ever. You’re an officer, called to a hostage situation, I think, who accidentally ends up being the only one infiltrating the building with a gun. About five femtoseconds later, you pick up an AK-47 rip-off, and almost the entire rest of the game consists of getting the kind of bodycount up that Rambo, Jack Bauer, and Cups can only dream of.

Give a Comment