What a fool! I first just realized that glowing PC parts are secretly meant as Christmas lights

With Halloween behind us, it’s time to ask: Is November 1st too early to put up Christmas lights? Is it a gloomy sign of voracious consumerism, or a welcome respite from watching the year die slowly and painfully in its final months? When I untied my strings of LED lights this morning, I realized that PC gaming is the most Christmas-friendly game. The colorful LEDs people stuff into their PCs every opening and pore are not just any decoration, they are Christmas lights. That is their purpose. It always has been. Christmas is year-round for PC gamers. So here it is: Merry Christmas.

I’m on the side of “Christmas now, and possibly forever.” The good part of autumn is almost over, and soon these radiant, curly leaves will be nothing but treacherous sludge waiting to stumble and snatch you. The sunset comes before I even go out of work. On Thursday, the days will be less than nine hours long, then eight and then seven. It’s awful. The world is bad until at least March. “Bring on Christmas,” I said today, not realizing that Christmas never ended for many PC gamers.

The colorful K100 RGB optical keyboard.

Corsair K100 RGB, clearly dressed in marketing images to evoke dreams of starving gingerbread men hungry through the frost on a bakery window.

I have long thought that LED-laden hardware was a curse, an industry-wide conspiracy to turn my discreet black boxes and plates into lifestyle accessories, gruesome centers in my home. I thought it was tacky waste. Only now do I realize that these are created explicitly to be Christmas decorations. They have always been Christmas decorations.

Glowing Razer Goliathus Chroma mouse pads.

Of course, it’s distracting; it’s Christmas!

I’m feeling bad now over all the years I’ve rejected glowing equipment. No, I do not want my computer to have a perspex window that reveals all sorts of glowing fans and memory sticks. But do I want a little Christmas tree at my desk all year long? I certainly do. In hindsight, I should have known that Razer’s distinctive green LEDs symbolized an evergreen Christmas tree.

An illuminated Razer Tomahawk case.

Do you hang the socks up on the case?

And I will admit that I have been judgmental. I thought it was a waste of money at best, kewl d00d posting at worst. But now, every time I see someone with a glowing mouse or RAM cycle through the colors of the rainbow, I know they are a boyfriend who loves Christmas more than anything else in the world. Really merry Christmas to you, you little darling.

A photograph of glowing Crucial Ballistix MAX RGB memory.

You’re out here buying extra RGB RAM so you can fill multiple browser tabs with Christmas music videos.

I turn on my Christmas lights tonight while listening to Christmas music and drinking cocoa, and I encourage you to do the same. Or just put your PC somewhere central. Raise your glorious tower, plug in your vibrant mouse and keyboard, put on your glowing headphones, turn on your glowing microphone, sit on top of your lighted chair, and fill your RGB backlit screen with the most colorful game you can.

A glowing X-Rocker RGB chair.

It’s Christmas time. It always is. And you, dear reader, sit forever on top of your own RGB tree like the most beautiful Christmas angel.

A photograph of a man who is unreasonably happy to wear the Razer Kraken Kitty headphones.

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